MIKE THE KNIFE!!!!

Now, on the side walk, ooh Sunday morning, uh huh
Lies a body just oozing life. EEK!
And someone’s sneaking round the corner
Could that someone be Mack the Knife?

MACK THE KNIFE/Bobby Darin

When I wrote this article “SAME S**T/DIFFERENT DAY” a couple of days ago, I forgot an integral part of my commentary. When I mentioned that to a friend yesterday he told me to be careful because that’s a sign of middle-age coming in on. So that didn’t make me feel any better but I’ll live with it.

When I was sitting in court on Friday after the proceedings had been moved to Judge Westbrook’s court and ferriera thought she was smart and sneaky, (That’ll never happen) she “papered” Judge Westbrook to disqualifying him from hearing the case. Judge Westbrook accepted the challenge and recused himself from the case.

Judge Westbrook then assigned the case to Judge Moody. Upon doing that, Ferriera then told Judge Westbrook that she wanted Scott McFarland to be required to post bail. I gasped upon hearing that and I guess my brain told me she didn’t really say that. Well she did. Scott McFarland has attended each and every court date he was required to and now Ferreira wants to add more financial grief to his life.

This is an absolute “ASS”inine move on Ferriera’s part. And yes I do know Webster/Merriam’s correct spelling of the word. It is my opinion and probably that of most of the readers of my commentaries feel that my spelling is much, much more accurate and hits the bail whoops, I mean nail on the head. If brains were gasoline, Ferriera would be in the same position as Patrick Hampton which means they couldn’t power an ant’s motorcycle around the inside of a Cheerio!!

Having followed the Carson case throughout its superfluous, unjustifiable and needless life in the courtroom, I have noticed that I have been observing an unbelievable miracle physiological phenomenon since I have been in the courtroom. In the preceding paragraph I realized I erred by mentioning brains in the same sentence with Ferriera. That being said, it is my opinion that Ferriera received the short end of the stick in the brains department.

Sensing something was happening, I went into my vault and pulled out my old high school biology book and opened it where it began talking about the Phylum Cnidaria (Jellyfish). I read several chapters and finally figured out what that miracle physiological phenomenon was that I have been experiencing. You may find this hard to believe, but I overcame my urge to reread my Dick and Jane books to recall some their adventures.

After I did a couple of chapter ending experiments, it was confirmed to me that in my opinion certain high-ranking and maybe, only maybe, the highest members of the District Attorney’s Office, and you know exactly who you are so I don’t have to lay it out for you; and certain Dist. Atty.’s office “task force” (OOOH,OOOH. THERE’S THAT BAD WORD AGAIN. NEENER, NEENER) investigative personnel, and you know exactly who you are, are morphing into jellyfish. No names here, just conjecture.

All right now people. In case you forgot your high school biology I am going to give you a quick refresher course. The question is what is a jellyfish? A jellyfish is an invertebrate and as such, has no spine. A jellyfish also has no brain and no heart. They have an orifice that functions as both the mouth and anus. Are you getting the picture yet? Okay, that’s enough biology class for today kids.

Having said that, you have to draw your own conclusions to place a face with the description. Now let’s put the cheese on the cracker. Ferriera put her cart before the horse in “papering” Judge Westbrook. After he recused himself based on Ferriera’s motion, Ferriera requested that Judge Westbrook set bail for Scott. The judge told her he is not the judge on the case and cannot set bail. I didn’t have my glasses on but even sitting in the back of the courtroom I detected a grin on Judge Westbrook’s face. Just saying…

Have you ever heard of people being so intelligent that they are stone cold stupid and maybe have never heard of common sense. And no doubt probably fell asleep during several of their law school classes or cut class to go out and tear the wings off of butterflies. Just saying…

Well we’ve put the cheese on the cracker and now let’s put the frosting on the cake. It is my understanding that after America’s sweetheart Eula Keyes finishes her testi-lying that her Paramore Michael “The Blade” Cooley will be on the stand. So let’s dust off the archives and come up with some interesting chronicles regarding Mike the Knife. All of the tales of woe listed hereinafter are all verified by the court records. So don’t kill the messenger!!!

November 17, 2015 – Chief deputy Dist. Atty. Dave Harris was recalled to the stand this morning for further cross-examination. Excerpts from same:

Harris was then asked if investigator bunch talked to Cooley about the case. Stated he can’t recall. He was then asked if investigator bunch talked to Cooper about the case. He again said I don’t recall.

He was asked if a type of inducement could be a threat. Stated an inducement could be telling a person that if they didn’t help or withheld information as an example in a homicide that that person could be charged with being an accessory. He said also that someone with a drug problem could be told to seek treatment or be charged.(So it appears that “Dancing Dave” is saying that if some druggie commits a crime, all he has to do is agree to seek treatment and he will not be charged. When was this policy initiated? There are a lot of druggies out there who would love to go into a treatment program to kick it and get a letter of no complaint. ANY TAKERS? GIVE OLD DANCING DAVE A CALL AND ASK FOR HIM PERSONALLY.

He was asked if this is what happened to Miranda Dykes.

He was asked if investigator bunch had contacted Michael Cooley’s parole officer. Harris stated he’s vague about that and he was asked if it’s common that someone on parole with one strike could get out in four weeks after they were arrested for sales of controlled substance. He stated the Sheriff’s office could’ve let them out because of medical condition they had because the Sheriff’s office would not keep them in the jail. Hey!!! More good news from Dancing Dave. So any of you people that get arrested, just tell the booking officer that you have a migraine headache and a urinary tract infection and they’ll spring ya!!! TELL THEM YOU GOT THE INFORMATION FROM DANCING DAVE.

Would it been an incentive to get assistance from the DA investigator or low bail. Harris said it might. He was then asked if bunch told him that Cooley sold controlled substances to confidential informant CR- 14.

He was asked if it would be an inducement if no charges were filed in the thefts such as those from Frank Carson’s property. It was asked if it would be an inducement to have the district attorney agreed to reduce sentences.

He was asked if anybody was not charged because they are a witness or have information. He was asked what would you call Michael Cooley. Harris said a witness as of April 2012. A witness? You gotta  be crapping me Dancing Dave!! Last guy to see Korey alive after threatening Korey with a knife because “Blade” thought Korey was trying to steal America’s sweetheart from him. But then the Queen of the Penthouse Tower wants Carson not Cooley at all costs.

He was asked if he filed some complaints in his position as chief deputy Dist. Atty. He said yes. He was asked who and he replied Singh, O’Neill and Woody. He was asked if bunch ever told Eula Keyes that Michael Cooley had nothing to worry about. Said he was not aware of it.

He was asked if he had been in contact with Woody’s attorney regarding making a deal for Woody. He stated that he had been involved in discussions and an attempt to gain a resolution in an advisory capacity.

I don’t recall, I don’t recall, he’s vague about that, he was not aware of it and attempt to gain a resolution. Sounds like he taught the class on evasive answering techniques for the task force (OOOH,OOOH. THERE’S THAT BAD WORD AGAIN. NEENER, NEENER). Resolution= “You tell us vat ve vant to hear, ve can talk about your compensation. No deals here folks. Nothing to see here, move along.

Next on the witness stand was Turlock police Detective Tim Redd. Redd was asked what his job was in the Frank Carson investigation. He stated he was the author of search warrants and arrest warrants. While at his office he was working the drug unit and a confidential informant bought a controlled substance from Michael Cooley. Oh no!!!! Not Mike the Knife!!!!

The informant was taken to Michael Cooley’s house to purchase the drugs. Eula Keyes was present when the controlled buy went down. Detective Redd served a search warrant on the residence of Michael Cooley and Eula Keyes. During the search they found methamphetamine packets under the refrigerator and some black tar heroin on Michael Cooley’s nightstand in the bedroom.  On no!!! Not Mike the Knife!!!

Michael Cooley said that the methamphetamine belonged to Eula Keyes because she was selling it. Oh no!!! Not America’s sweetheart!!!  Both asked if theycould make a deal. They were advised that if they could make some buys getting dealers higher up on the chain that he, Detective Redd would talk to the DA if they get something good. So both agreed to become snitches in order to mitigate their circumstances and jail or prison time.

After Tim releases them, it turns out that they couldn’t sell ice water to someone dying of thirst in Death Valley. So they were then arrested and booked into jail on all the drug and illegal ammunition charges.

This is the arrest that the deputy public defender said in earlier testimony that a deal had been made to ensure that Michael Cooley would not go to prison because he is afraid that the gangs would get him because of being a snitch. Once your tailor-made snitch jacket is on, you are a SNITCH so deal with it. Detective Redd stated that both Cooley and Keyes were not confidential informants but merely snitches trying to work their beef off.

November 19, 2015 – Mr. Forkner then asked Mr. Lageuro why there was a delay in resolving the Michael Cooley and Eula Keyes cases. Mr. Lageuro stated that they were having trouble getting a conflict attorney and that Judge Distaso told him to go out of County to get the conflict attorney. Mr. Lageuro stated that he believes that an attorney named Dustin Johnson from Sacramento is going to be handling the case.

Okay people. Let’s get to the real reason there was such a long delay. The dynamic duo of Cooley and Keyes were arrested on February 5, 2014. These two drug infused wretches were a couple of the prosecution star witnesses. They were both arrested on two felony charges in three misdemeanor charges.

 

The DA had to keep them around for them to testi-lie when the DA falsely accuses the Carson 8. So 3 ½ years after they are arrested they finally come into court and both plead to one misdemeanor drug charge. All the other charges including the two felony charges against both of them are, are you ready for this? DISMISSED!!!!!!!   No deals here folks. Nothing to see here, move along.  Both Cooley and Keyes are in the running for the DA’s award for witness testi-lier of the year. But do not fear, there is plenty of time for more competition from the perspective witnesses for the persecution.

10/25/2017 Disposition

001	HS11378-F-POSSESS CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE FOR SALE	Dism: Other Dismissal

 

10/25/2017 Disposition

002	PC30305(a)(1)-F-PROHIBITED PERSON WITH WEAPON	Dism: Other Dismissal

Do not fear people, there is more to come about Mike the Knife.

January 5, 2016 – Well the first recording of an interview with Kimberly Stout and Bunch and his partner was played. During part of the audio tape Stout indicated that Michael Cooley and Eula Keyes had stolen a lot of stuff from Frank Carson’s property. They then either sold it to Linda Fisher or exchanged it for drugs. Stout said that Linda Fisher is the one selling dope to everybody.

She also stated that Michael Cooley had set Korey Kauffman up because Cooley felt that Corey was trying to make a move on Eula. She also stated that she hoped that Korey Kauffman was going to be okay as Michael Cooley had made a threat against him. Bunch was heard on the tape then saying that Korey Kauffman had stolen stuff too.

Way to go bunch!!!! We are talking about the demise of a young man you are stomping on his grave and accusing him of being a thief. You should be talking about the two drugged up reprobates, one of whom may be the actual person responsible for Korey’s demise. But oh no!!! Gotta protect the DAs witnesses.

I OFTEN USED TO WONDER HOW HABITUAL LIARS CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT. AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN IT CAME TO ME IN A VISION. FIRST THEY LIE ON ONE SIDE AND THEN THEY LIE ON THE OTHER. A VERY ELUCIDATING VISION WHICH IS WHY THE DA’s PERSECUTION WITNESSES COME TO COURT HAPPY, HIGH, BRIGHT BLIGHT EYED AND SCRUFFY WAITING FOR THEIR NEXT DEAL.

Well I have to cut this one off at this point but don’t worry, there’s plenty more to come so stay tuned.

How many tweakers  does it take to change a light bulb?
4, one to hold the light bulb and three to smoke until the room spins.

Alternative answer: None, because tweakers can see things in the dark.